It’s Independence day. A day for waving the flag, drinking some brewski’s, and blowing shit up!
If we keep waving the flag hard enough, we may just become totally independent from the whole entire world. But that’s an entirely different tangent. One that’s bound to create too much ado. So let’s celebrate… Cheers (that’s me tipping my tasty micro-brew)!
Today the beach is crawling with inlanders who spend half their day just looking for a parking spot and carrying their 12 bags to the beach. There is a fair about 4 blocks from my house and it’s swamped with people. Good times! Even a touring Carny festival decided to show up. Gotta love those “Bitter Beer Face Dudes” working the dart and balloon booths. And hey, who can miss riding “THE ZIPPER”.
Somehow I equate zipper more with a bag of crank that the carny just snorted more-so then the ride. These carnivals are a true spectacle. I always wanted to go undercover on the Carny-Circuit for a month or so to see what the life of a true Carny really is like.
Anyways, you couldn’t pay me to ride those rides. The entire time I’d be having insane thoughts of some Discovery Channel show… “When Amusement Rides Attack”!
O well, it’s fun to let the inlanders have their day at the beach, and we’ll get the less crowded waves tomorrow. So while the entire beach is a massive clusterfuck, might as well join em and toss a few back and have some fun in the process.
But here’s the True American Achievement of today…
In the land of fat asses, reality tv watching, and just ridiculous entertainment, we have to give a standing ovation to the new American Hero who is now the World Record “HOT DOG EATING CHAMPION”!
Now that’s an accomplishment!
Joey Chestnut CRUSHED Kobayashi by shoving 66 Weiners down his esophagus in just 12 Minutes! Joey proved once and for all, You Can’t Fuck With The True Hot Dog Kings Of The U.S.A. Nobody eats true disgusting Swine like USA, USA, USA, USA!
Atta boy Joey! Make us proud 🙂
You shoved a Weiner down your mouth every 10 seconds for 12 whole minutes. I’ve never seen anyone deep throat a dog like you. BOW DOWN.
So while we celebrate our independence today, and shoot out each others eyes with bottle-rockets, let’s not forget the true hero of the day… Joey Chestnut. A true American Hero!
(wanna read up more on the hero, peep the story if the S.F. Gate below…)
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/07/04/BAGIHQR1746.DTL
Happy 4th J-MO! Being married to a girl who hails from Michigan, we have our own little celebration down here in Australia too. There’s so much I love about the U.S (and quite a bit I don’t).
I actually travelled with the carnys over here for a short while, man what a life! And I don’t mean that in a good way. They’re the hardest working people I ever met, and people who are so incredibly loyal to each other it’s like they’re all blood related.
Just think, Joey Chestnut will be forever known as WeinerBoy!
Cheers,
Nez
Right on!
Kobiyahi Rules! Joey was on steroids.