On Saturday night we raged like kids in a candy store during the annual Karma Foundation party Kandyland at the Playboy Mansion. The Karma Foundation is a private organization offering its members a mix of networking, philanthropy, revelry and ultimate access! Proceeds from Kandyland party were set aside to benefit Operation USA.

If you ever get invited to attend a party at the Playboy Mansion you may want to take heed of these 7 tips that will help you get the most out of your experience. Trust me, I know what I’m talking about. Pay attention!

Just about anyone can go to the mansion if you’re willing to drop a few bucks. Quite frequently they have charity events, and for about $1000 you can score yourself a ticket to party on the grounds. If you’re an extra hot and fun chick you might be able to weasel your way in for free.

Playboy Mansion Tip #1. Don’t Be The Drinking Rookie.

Listen up, you’re going to have an amazing time. In fact, chances are you’ll have such an amazing time you’ll be wasted and puking in the bushes if you don’t take a few precautions.

First of all, don’t start drinking a bunch of booze on a empty stomach. This isn’t rocket science, and I know you’re not an idiot. So eat something. Fill up your belly because easily accessible liquor and hot girls everywhere can quickly cloud your judgement. There’s usually a buffet or appetizers at each of the parties so indulge.

Make sure to drink plenty of water between drinks. Once again, pretty obvious stuff. But don’t forget.

Finally, pace yourself. It’s easy to get caught up in the moment and be shit faced by 10:45. The party still has hours to go and is just getting started. Don’t be the dumbass that misses the whole thing because you’ve already slammed 7 drinks before the real party has even started.

Playboy Mansion Tip #2. Don’t Arrive With Jimmy Dean And His 8 Buddies In A Sausage Truck.

If at all possible, roll with some chicks to the party. It’s very helpful, and way more inviting to other women if there’s some female presence with your group. If you do arrive with a bus full of testosterone, do yourself a favor and break away from the pack at times. Go mingle with other people.

The girls are exceptionally friendly, talkative and there to have a good time. Don’t intimidate them by hanging with your 12 boys that are just dreaming and salivating at the idea of splitting some playmates thighs later on. Chances are, it won’t happen in this scenario.

Playboy Mansion Tip #3. Leave Your Jealous Spouse At Home

If your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife or husband is overly jealous at the site of seeing you dance the night away with nearly naked party goers, go go dancers, and bombshell playmates, then do yourself a huge favor and don’t bring them. If you really think it may be a issue, you may want to reconsider even coming to the Playboy Mansion at all, unless you’re looking for a easy way to break up.

These parties split couples apart every day. If you don’t have a strong foundation in your relationship, you’re playing with fire. Be warned. And even when you think your wife or girlfriend is okay with the festivities, there’s a really good shot she’s fuming with rage and insecurities inside.

However, if you do decide to bring your spouse or loved one, make sure you spend enough time with them and give them the attention they deserve. Just because there’s a pair of naked double D’s sitting right in front of your face doesn’t mean you can motorboat them with your face and tell your lady you couldn’t hear her because your ears were full of breasts. I’ve seen many married couples having a blast at the mansion, and that’s the way it should be. (I also was subjected to one of my famous marketing buddies fat ass in the grotto. That wasn’t the most fun ever.)

Playboy Mansion Tip #4. Screw The After Party

Around 1:30 AM you’ll start to hear everyone talking about the “After Party”. My advice is, don’t worry too much about it unless you’ve got some serious intel.

There’s usually at least two different after parties. The one that they tell everyone about to get them out of the mansion, and the private one that you’re probably not going to unless you are very well connected, or have half a dozen hotties with you. A pack of 5 dudes is usually NOT getting into the good after party, but rather rerouted to a place where they’ll reconvene with the drunken testosterone crew looking for sexy leftovers. Sorry chumps.

The truth is, it’s very doubtful another party is going to be able to match the shin dig you’re already at. You’re at the fucking Playboy Mansion. Enjoy it.

After spending time waiting in line to get on a shuttle or in a limo, then transporting to a new location, you’ve wasted almost an hour. An hour that could of been well spent just staying put at the epic party.

Playboy Mansion Tip #5. Don’t Forget To Take Picures

Most of the parties allow you to bring in personal cameras to shoot pictures. At first you’d think it would be sort of pervy to do so, but it’s actually just the opposite. My experience has been that the majority of girls love to pose for the cameras. They are so proud of their costumes or outfits and want to show them off.

Many of the models and playmates are there for that purpose.

Remember that time flies when you are at the Playboy Mansion. 5 hours can seem like 45 minutes when it’s all done and over and there’s a very good chance that you forgot to even snap a photo while there.

Just don’t be that weird guy snapping pics of girls all night and not even talking to them. Get out and mingle, smile and dance your ass off. You’ll have more organic photo ops than you’ll ever imagine.

One last thing about taking pictures is you may want to experiment with your camera a bit to find out how to take the best pics at night. There isn’t a bunch of light, and sometimes it’s tough to get good pics with a simple digital camera or using your phone’s picture application.

Playboy Mansion Tip #6. Don’t Get Kicked Out

So you want to smoke some weed, or do some other illegal activity hey? Be careful. While the security guards are not there to try and bust you for such things, they do have to perform their job. If you are caught smoking herb or doing lines of blow off some girls ass, you’ll likely be tossed on a shuttle and asked to leave.

If you want a bit of privacy, I suggest you head to the tennis courts across the driveway in the front of the house. Just follow the stone path to the darkness and you should be relatively good.

And if one of your good friends offers to give you Molly (pure MDMA) my suggestion is to flip a coin. I chose tails. Guess which one it landed on?

Playboy Mansion Tip #7. Get A Cabana

If you can afford it, it’s really nice to have a private cabana. Depending upon the party it will likely cost about $5000 to $10,000 for such a thing. You’ll get your own private girl to pour drinks and assist you with anything you’ll need.

Plus you’ll have a space for ladies to put their purses and belongings. And you may want a spot to just chill out for a moment.

While the fee for a private cabana is not cheap, it’s a good option if you are rolling with a bunch of dudes. Each guy can pitch in, and mitigate the cost quite a bit.

Finally, just because you do have the cabana doesn’t mean you should hang out there all night. Get out and check out the whole place. There is so much to see, and so many people to meet. Confining yourself to one spot is just silly in my opinion.

So, there you go. 7 quick tips to maximize your playboy mansion experience. I hope they are helpful, and if you’re headed to the mansion any time soon, shoot me a invite!

Cheers,

Jason

PS: I also wouldn’t swim in the grotto hot tub. But I don’t public hot tubs anywhere. The pool’s not so bad though.