Let’s face it, many of you have probably already broke your new years resolutions and it’s only 4 days into 2008. If you are fat, you’ll probably stay fat. If you don’t have very much money, it’s a pretty safe bet that you’ll be broke in 2009 as well.
I don’t say this to be mean, but to be really honest. Deep rooted patterns are not broken because all of the sudden a new year has dawned on us. Sure, it would be nice if it worked, but it seldom does.
The truth is, you need a real reason “WHY” to break a bad habit. Why do you want to lose weight? Why do you want to make more money?
And that reason why needs to have massive meaning. Right now, most people are fat or broke because it’s not a priority to be healthy or rich. They may say or think they want these things, but deep down they settle for something that is diametrically opposite of what comes out of their mouths.
Unless you have SEVERE PAIN associated with a certain action, it’s doubtful you’ll ever quit. I’m talking about pain so immense that you feel utterly disgusted with yourself and your actions. You literally need to HATE your problem to actually do something about it.
So do you HATE your fat or your lack of funds in the bank account?
I use these 2 examples because they are 2 of the most common things people want to change. So again I ask… “Do you hate your fat? Do you hate being broke?”
And I’m not talking about just saying you hate it or dislike it. I’m referring to associating so much negative pain to these problems that you passionately say… NEVER AGAIN! You need to despise these bad habits like Satan or murder, because if you don’t they’ll probably never change.
Real change only comes when people are truly fed up. A slim attractive body doesn’t come just because it’s new years. And money doesn’t fall from the sky just because your new resolution is to actually work on your business.
There is a moment in the consciousness when true change happens and for many people it can happen in a instant. But, in order for that to happen you have to be thoroughly fed up and disgusted with the behavior that you have been perpetuating for so long.
Do you HATE that bad habit? Do you truly despise it? Does it make you sick to your stomach and want to vomit just thinking of it?
When you feel that way, true change is very possible.
But unless you truly recognize how much you detest something, you’ll likely stay in the same pattern all year and throughout the decade. Patterns are not hard to break when you have the right tools. But considering most people have anchored these patterns so deep, they have no clue how to really change.
I’ve been fortunate to be buried into the world of hypnosis and self development for quite some time. During the last 10 years I’ve seen people make real change in their lives in a instant. It didn’t take tons of hard work or intense labor. It didn’t require massive energy or depriving themselves of anything.
What it did take was a huge shift in someones criteria and what they are willing to put up with. You simply must demand more for yourself and know that you deserve the absolute best. And if you don’t give yourself permission to have the best, no one can ever help you attain it. But most people just settle for mediocrity. It’s seldom that someone demands the best for themselves.
And until you do demand the best, things will always stay the same.
There’s a huge difference between wishing for the best and demanding it too. Wishing ain’t going to get you jack shit. Wishing is for people playing the lottery. Doing is for people who really want to make significant change.
During Anthony Robbins “Unleash The Power Within” program he takes you through a transformation called “The Dickens Process”. The goal is to rid yourself of some negative belief. And once you are done with this process, life will never be the same. But, you have to associate tons of negative energy and bad memories to this belief so you’ll say… “NEVER AGAIN”.
And once you can do that, you are ready to replace it with something beautiful.
You know without a shadow of a doubt that you’ll never subject yourself to the same pain and misery again because the alternative is so much more rewarding. But unless you see that horrendous pain associated with your actions, it’s hard to make any significant and lasting change.
There is a lot to learn from pain and misery. It can propel you to new heights if you use it correctly and make new demands of yourself.
But simple new years resolutions are bound to be broken and make you feel like more shit. And it’s easy to see why. People are not truly trying to change. They are hoping some magic being from the sky is going to come down and make everything all right. Good luck with that one.
It’s up to you. You control your destiny. And if you truly want real change in 2008 then it’s all yours just waiting for you to step up to the plate and swing for the fences.
Remember, there is no trying in this game. You either do, or you don’t. It’s that simple.
So get pissed off, get enraged about what you want to change and say… “NEVER AGAIN”.
And after you do that, watch this nice little message from the Robbins organization…
http://www.tonyrobbins.com/12TENETS/index.html?=136092
Take care and grasp ahold of the new year.
Your pal,
Jason
You said it J-Mo… People start the year with such good intentions, get about 3 days in and then think “Ooooh – I’ll just treat myself to one of these” and they’re back at square one.
Excellent post, Jason. To take hatred and anger at, say, being broke and channeling that into working like heck to do whatever it takes to never be broke again, wonderful things happen. I experienced the “NEVER AGAIN” emotions in 2007 about being overwhelmed by debt. I’m amazed at how that pain propelled me forward to take massive action.
I’m really good looking
I can have any girl that I want
I’m filthy rich and I drive a Ferrari
I am every girl’s dream………………….
but wait….What was that?
Oh shit…. Time Out…..I’ve got to put more money in the bloody hypnosis machine!!!!
Dream on
Well back to the land of reality I suppose
Gotta get a life this year on the bloody internet business
Oh well
Happy New Year to Jason and his gang
Graham in the cold and wet U.K.
Great post, Jason! I might just need to come back and read this one every day! I’ve always hated resolutions, too, and I totally agree that the pain has to get bad enough for you to want to change!
Great post Jason – you’re right on the money! It’s all about the decision.
Just wanting to change won’t cut it – you have to make an actual decision to change and that requires reassociating pain/pleasure triggers. Something external may do this (such as when you broke up with your girlfriend) or we can use some technique (like the Dickens method, journaling, proper visualisation etc.) to do it consciously.
You know when you’ve made a genuine decision because you feel it with your whole being and your whole consciousness does a 180. The old way ceases to be comfortable and just causes pain when you think about it. It’s the only way to make genuine change as we’re all fundamentally driven by what we associate with causing pain or pleasure. A new year’s resolution is not a decision – it’s a wish or desire.
Executing any change requires action and this is where the decision becomes important. Action that’s in alignment with our beliefs and subconscious anchors is easy and effortless. Action that’s in conflict with our beliefs and subconscious anchors is hard and almost impossible to maintain. A new year’s resolution does nothing to change our beliefs and subconscious anchors whereas a genuine decision is a questioning and change of our beliefs and subconscious anchors.
So it’s ultimately all about the decision.
Happy new year and may everything be great in 2008!
I didn’t like your post at first Jason but after reading through it a few times I realised you’re actually totally right!
There is a lot more to changing your life than simply telling yourself you will change. You have to act on those promises.
The New Year is supposed to be a good time to make changes but if something needs changing why wait around?
If something needs changing in your life make the commitment to yourself to change it starting right now. Don’t just make a promise or resolution. Get up and do it and keep doing it!
Great post Jason. I don’t do resolutions, for the reasons you mentioned, habits don’t just change because it’s a new year.
Angela
Hi Jason
You hit it spot on. Yes, we have to hate our pain so much that we want to change for something better, much better.
Warm regards
Tiat
AbundanceLaw.com – Creating Abundance in Your Life, Aspirations and Wealth!
Jason…
About 100,000 Tony Robbin clones running around singing the tune that pain TRIGGERS behavior change.
Ur a new clone.
And…
Tony admits he clones from others.
Could there be a more creative and fun way that sticks in a person’s craw that warms people’s hearts to seeing and affecting the world better?
Then…
Consider “Humor” as a trigger to affect change.
Here is such a story…
It’s about a father and his son…
A father, passing by his son’s bedroom, was astonished
to see that his son’s bed was nicely made
and everything was picked up.
Then he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow.
that was addressed to…
‘Dad.’
With the worst premonition…
he opened the envelope with trembling hands
and, read the letter:
Dear Dad:
It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you.
I had to elope with my new girlfriend because
I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.
I have been finding real passion with Stacy and she is so nice.
But I knew you would not approve of her because of
all her piercing tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes
and the fact that she is much older than I am.
But…
it’s not only the passion…
Dad, she’s pregnant!
Stacy said that we will be very happy.
She owns a trailer in the woods
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.
We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone.
We’ll be growing it for ourselves and
trading it with the other people
that live nearby for cocaine and ecstasy.
In the meantime…
we will pray that science
will find a cure for AIDS so
Stacy can get better.
She deserves it.
Don’t worry, Dad.
I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday,
I’m sure that we will be back to visit
so that you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love,
Your son John
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.
I’m over at Tommy’s house.
I just wanted to remind you
that there are worse things in life
than the report card that’s in my center desk drawer.
I love you.
Call me…
when it’s safe to come home.
End of Story…
“It is every man’s obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.”
– Albert Einstein